Original rap/poetry by Larry Montague. Copyright © 2012 Larry Montague. Permission required for reproduction.

"heavy wings that fly"

it’s hard just being you
you gotta be that everyday
your best friends hate when you’re not happy
you need a reason why you feel this way, come on, explain
you have to be the one in the rain with a big smile on his face
well, the weight’s just too much now
the sad clown’s out sick today
the worst part about being a loner is that no one looks for you
they finally respect you
they finally let you be
they are the noise
and you are where the birds go when it’s too windy to stare into space
making darker what you cannot erase

behind-the-screen love is not what i be about
i gotta be twice the man just to even out
if she knew me like i know me would i even doubt?
i doubt it, as i commit to go the steeper route
i use the melody to court her so i puff it out
walk by her door so many times that i lost count
tossed out letters that returned to sender, feeling off-centered
know i’d offer much better if i sprung from comfort with the heavy wings that fly
whoa whoa whoa whoa
and as i turn the page i turn away
i felt it wasn’t worth it just to turn into a person that i’d barely know
and probably grow to hate
but smiles motivate
i was fallin’ for her coolness—she was not your average snowflake
it’s got my mind open late
wish that i could just take it slow and wait
but these feelings that i harbor make a friendship overweight
we’d sink before we even get off shore, i’m sure

if i wait it out then i’ll be okay
tellling her now would just make it worse
i’m not living up to who i’m supposed to be
but who i am now is the one that works
i’m sort of old-fashioned
i mean old like before we were scored on our fashion
before computer comments destroyed the compassion
before the future’s promise was just what these children could imagine
i’ll forgo the super conquest to see the world over
to share a walk with a woman that i won over
leave prints that connect the dots of the web
add one or two to our nest and all stroll forward
though this puts me on a flimsy limb
without a choice i find the confidence within
without a choice i find the confidence within myself and it helps